PS3: Linger in Shadows REVIEW - By Hooksmgee

LINGER IN SHADOWS IS SHITE

Like many new Playstation 3 owners I am very short on wallet matter (due mostly to the high price of the system). Not that I am complaining or anything, I think that the PS3 is the next best thing to smooth pussy. However, with dwindling funds I sometimes have to resort to cheap methods to quench my desire for new and sexy games. I scroll through the available downloadable content on the PSN and grease my way on by all the expensive and probably great
games they have to offer. I only focus on the games that I can currently afford (2.99 - 9.99). Plenty of options out there for a guy in my snack bracket, but what did I go and do? I went and spent good, rapidly depreciating money on possibly the worst game ever made... Linger In Shadows.



I know that there are some people out there reading this that are completely outraged because this game was not supposed to be a game at all, rather it was meant to be interactive art. Well I say "interactive art can suck my interactive dick!" I payed money to play a game, not to fast forward and rewind through some greasy haired art student's nightmare.




I'll give a short rundown of how this shitty art "game" plays out. You watch random artsy garbage float around onscreen, then you mash buttons and shake the shit out of your six axxis until it lets you progress to the next sequence of floating garbage. Then you repeat. The visuals had me on a bit of a high when the robotic tentacle beast was crawling out of the tunnel. Unfortunately that high ended abruptly when I remembered that I had no control over anything that was happening. Its almost like the developers were trying to fuck with me, by letting me turn its headlight on and off and wiggle its head to the side a little bit. After that there is
a flying dog that gets turned to stone by a black cloud. The end.



Also there was a creepy cat watching the whole thing and looking
pretty smug. Asshole. This shit made no sense to me, and if you say it makes sense to you then you are probably a greasy haired art student with ties to the terrorist organization that created this shitty game. It really seemed like the creators of this game tried to capture what is going on in some emo kid's warped mind. What's more is they took this despicable crap and stuck it in an a bottle marked "GAME" on a shelf in the Playstation Network. We all know what happened next.....a humble young drunk looking for his next fix got a hold of it and went blind. Then he wrote a review for the worst game in history.

I rate this "game" a pitiful 1500 out of 9000, making this title way under 9000!

Your friend, Hooksmgee